Thunderstorms

I find it strange the things that are triggering memories of my Mother. Tonight, here in Minneapolis, we are getting hit by another round of sever thunderstorms. There is no threat in my neighborhood right now, just lots of lightning, thunder, and heavy rains.

My mother loved thunderstorms, especially when she was up at the cabin on Lake Morrison near Outing, Minnesota. She really loved the sound of the thunder rolling overhead and the lightning snaking through the black sky over the lake.

So tonight, I am sitting here watching an almost continuous light show outside of my kitchen window thinking that my Mother must be enjoying the view she has of it from Heaven. I know she'd enjoy being here right now to watch it with me.

I really miss her.

How am I doing....

An anonymous person emailed left the following comment in response to my blog's first entry:

I want to know how you are doing after your mom is now "on the other side". I feel for you and the pain you are probably experiencing. please let us know how you are doing........

I'm not sure how to answer this question because my thoughts & feelings regarding my Mother's death change from moment to moment. I've found that emotions are a very fluid under the best circumstance; under the worst, they are unpredictable. I am finding myself beening caught off-guard by what I'm feeling in tesponse to my mother's death.

Right now I'm doing pretty good. I had a very busy day and haven't had time to really think about my Mother's death. I did think about her on the way home from running an errand this evening when I saw a double rainbow..it made me smile.

At other times during the past week I've been suddenly filled with pain & found myself crying because of the though that my Mother is dead & that I'll never see her again in this lifetime. I even find myself forgetting she's gone and thinking for a second or two that I should call her on the phone to see how she's doing but then I remember she's dead. I can't really describe what that moment is like.

I do not currently have a constant state of mind or emotion regarding my Mother's death and I don't think I ever will. All I can tell you is that, right now, I'm doing okay....