A Mother's Death, A Daughter's Tears

My mother died on 5/11/05 after fighting lung cancer for over 14 months. This blog will document my journey of coming to grips with the loss of the most important woman in my life.

Name:
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States

My real name is Kim and I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota USA. I am 44 years old, married, and have two step-daughters. I own five parrots & one dog, a Miniature Schnauzer. I have a pet sitting business http://parrotnanniesmn.com/.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Happy Birthday Mom

Today my Mom would have been 64 years old & this is her first birthday without her in my life. I thought a lot about her today while I was at work and during the evening while I was at a club meetings. I can't believe that today was her birthday; it just didn't seem like it. Her birthday used to be something special to me & I always made a point to visit her or call her. Today came & couldn't do either one.

I am emotionally exhausted facing all of these important days without her crammed so close together; her birthday on May 3rd, the first anniversary of her death coming up on May 11th, and of course Mother's Day. Each of these days by alone is very emotional to deal with but having them all coincide so near one another is very hard to deal with.

As I was driving home from my meeting tonight, I tried talking to my Mom. I wished a happy birthday & told her that I loved her & missed her. It was the first time today I had a chance to just be alone & think about her. Oddly, I feel kind of numb. I am feeling very little pain, nor am I very upset. I wonder why? Is it because an entire year has gone by & am I starting to get used to her being gone? Or will the pain & sadness hit me later, as it has so often during the past year?

At any rate, all I can say is that I love you Mom & I miss you. Happy birthday.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I know how you feel. I lost my mom March 23 om Easter. I am so sad and I miss her so much. Christmas is almost here and I just don't wanyt it to come. It hasn't been a year yet and some days it seems like it has been forever and then like now it's like yesterday. Thanks for listening Marlene Stevenson

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was running behind so many things. Completely forgot how much i actually forgot i can't stay without my mom

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your memories have made me realise what mistake i was doing in life ..thank you for this

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand your feeling completely. I lost my kind Mom 3 years ago, the current situation is really depressing and full of sadness. I miss her a lot. I sometimes think that there is nothing in the world which could make me happy. I am a young girl but nothing can increase my eagerness to be hopeful to this world. I really miss her a lot, I need her, but there is not any way to solve this condition just Death.

3:42 AM  

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