Over four months gone by now.....

It has been over four months since my Mother died. Why does it seem like it happen years & years ago for me? I spoke with my sister last night & she said that it seems just like yesterday for her; she lived with my our Mother the last few months of her life. Maybe that is why it seems so different for her. I haven't spoken with my brother for a long time now & so I don't know how the grieving process is going for him.

I miss my Mother so much. I got a new cell phone this past weekend & when I sat down to program the phone numbers of my family & friends the first phone number I thought to program was hers...then it hit me again that she is gone. This keeps happening to me over & over! I went out with a couple of girlfriends last week & we'd start talking about our mothers and I'd say something about my Mother in the present tense! My one friend whose mother is still alive would look at me funny. My other friend, who lost her mother a year or so ago, would say to me, "It is okay. It takes awhile." She understands.

It takes time...people keep saying that to me. It takes time to heal, to accept, to move on. Four months is a very short period of time when it comes to the grieving process. Four months without my Mother alive compared to 38 years with her...four months is nothing.