How am I doing....

An anonymous person emailed left the following comment in response to my blog's first entry:

I want to know how you are doing after your mom is now "on the other side". I feel for you and the pain you are probably experiencing. please let us know how you are doing........

I'm not sure how to answer this question because my thoughts & feelings regarding my Mother's death change from moment to moment. I've found that emotions are a very fluid under the best circumstance; under the worst, they are unpredictable. I am finding myself beening caught off-guard by what I'm feeling in tesponse to my mother's death.

Right now I'm doing pretty good. I had a very busy day and haven't had time to really think about my Mother's death. I did think about her on the way home from running an errand this evening when I saw a double rainbow..it made me smile.

At other times during the past week I've been suddenly filled with pain & found myself crying because of the though that my Mother is dead & that I'll never see her again in this lifetime. I even find myself forgetting she's gone and thinking for a second or two that I should call her on the phone to see how she's doing but then I remember she's dead. I can't really describe what that moment is like.

I do not currently have a constant state of mind or emotion regarding my Mother's death and I don't think I ever will. All I can tell you is that, right now, I'm doing okay....