Merry Christmas

Here is wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas. I hope all of you were able to spend the holiday with people you love in a warm, safe place. May all of your Christmas hopes and dreams come true. Cherish those around you, give lots of love to your family and friends. Never take them for granted.

It is my first Christmas without my Mother & also my first Christmas without my husband at my side. I did not spend the day alone, however. This morning I gave my artificial Christmas tree who a family in need. This evening I spent time with my brother, my sister, and their families and then I went with them to my aunt's house to spend the rest of the night.

Now I am home, alone, at 11:30pm in front of my computer. My Mother is in Heaven and my husband is in a hospital in the psych ward. I am sitting here in the dark, wishing both of them could be here with me tonight to share another year celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. I wish I could see my Mother, watch her smile as she opened her gifts, and hear her laugh in enjoyment. I wish my husband were well & could be here by my side to comfort me as I face this first Christmas without my Mother.

I miss you, Mom. It didn't seem quite like Christmas without you there with us tonight. Your granddaughter Isabelle is now 17 months old and she is such a goofy little child! You certainly would have enjoyed her antics tonight! And her mother, my younger sister, is pregnant again! Your daughter is going to be a mother again soon...She misses you very much too. Your other grandchildren are getting so big! Your grandson is now 6 feet 2 inches tall! It seems like only yesterday he was a baby like Isabelle!

Don't worry about me Mom, I'll be all right. I am taking care of myself, doing what needs to be done regarding the crisis I'm facing with my husband. He's in a safe, warm place being watched over by people trained to help him & give him the best shot he has at overcoming his problems, assuming that is what he wants. Me? I am enjoying life without having to deal with his drinking and coming home is at last a comfortable thing for me to do. People say I am so strong and dealing with this so well, although I don't feel like it. Am I doing well, Mom? Would you be proud of me?

Tonight I am sad. I am also grateful for the blessings in my life. My home, my health, my pets, my family and friends. I thank God on this holy night for giving us the gift of His love through His son Jesus Christ. I pray to God to give us all peace, happiness, and love during this holiday season and throughout the year. Bless you all.